Updated Christmas Classics

This may be the year that George Bailey finally jumps off the bridge after Old Man Potter merges with Bank of America to hire Clarence as a lobbyist with his own private jet instead of those old-fashioned wings he has been wishing for.

For its annual Christmas Eve showing, in the age of James Cameron, "It's a Wonderful Life" needs serious updating, especially if it's being constantly interrupted by commercials against health care reform to freak out the citizens of Bedford Falls over any form of communal activism.

In other celluloid classics, Scrooge can cut a deal with the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come aka Harry Reid (call it a Ben Nelson carveout) to escape those hellish chains, while the Grinch gets to keep all the Christmas stuff he stole with a Max Baucus exception for victims of environmental hazards (Mt. Crumpit in Whoville is notorious for its toxic atmosphere).

In the last century, the dream factories of Hollywood made sentimental believers of us all, but the Washington headline makers are teaching us how life really works. So let George Bailey take the plunge. If he survives, he can pay for his own health care out of the advance for the book deal that is sure to follow.