Those who want to protect America from a Commander-in-Chief of questionable citizenship are getting ahead of themselves by putting all their energy into proving that Barack Hussein Obama was foreign-born and should not be reelected.
In primaries before next November, they will first have to head off Mitt (another odd name) Romney who may not be a secret Muslim but is a professed Mormon, certainly out of the Christian mainstream.
And while Romney has a valid Michigan birth certificate, there is also the question of a death certificate, officially stamped on his passport ("He is dead") by the French police after a lethal auto accident while he was a missionary there in 1968.
If the Birthers, led by their new spokesman, can see a Manchurian candidate scenario in sunny Hawaii, how much more plausible is the substitution by the devious French of a 21-year-old imposter with plastic surgery, waiting to emerge decades later and moved into the White House to foist foreign ideas on America?
To make their case against Romney, the Birthers could cite all those numerous flipflops of his on major issues, proving that he is not a genuine Conservative but an undercover agent who will do anything to get elected.
If he is really serious in his crusade, Donald Trump will get all his invisible agents out of Honolulu chasing Obama's birth records and send them to southern France to find out what really happened after Mitt Romney was pronounced dead.
That would force Anderson Cooper and his CNN crew to get over there too and do some real investigative reporting about Romney, instead of just taking the word of all those Hawaiians that Obama was born there.
Satire Apology: There is no way to send up you-know-who; he does it so much better himself. As Trump blusters toward a possible GOP run, we learn he gives most of his campaign money to...Democrats, overwhelmingly in his home state, New York.
“Everyone’s Democratic,” he explains. “So what am I going to do--contribute to Republicans? One thing: I’m not stupid. Am I going to contribute to Republicans...when they get beat when they run against some Democrat and the most they can get is 1 percent of the vote?”
Whatever he says about Obama's origins, one thing is clear: Trump wasn't born yesterday.
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No icing tops the cake more than this remark from the hairpiece-turned-mouthpiece: “Today I'm very proud of myself, because I've accomplished something that no one else has been able to accomplish,” crows the forever truculent and triumphant Trump.
For a man obsessed with bragging about himself - his yacht, his money, his media exposure, his wives, and his manhood - I can’t help but wonder whether he is hiding a secret in his pants. Perhaps the man with a constant need to brag is overcompensating and covering up the lack thereof, having neither prick nor balls. Why should we take the Donald at his word? President Obama showed us his; it is time for Donald to show us his.
Donald, now it’s your turn. Call a press conference and fess up. Drop your pants and show your penis. Citizens have a right to know.
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