I dozed off last night watching one of those Liam Neeson action movies in which he wrecks cities for reasons too complicated to explain and switched channels to find more of the same in the Republican demolition derby.
Ron Paul is surging in Iowa to bump the tailpipes of Gingrich and Romney while the first frontrunner Donald Trump has been waved off the track, canceling his debate and promising to “leave all of my options open because, above all else, we must make America great again!”
In the stands, superfan Christine O’Donnell is cheering for Mitt, who is “pleased to have her on my team,” with the witch-like logic that “he’s been consistent since he changed his mind.”
If the Great Screenwriter in the Sky is following the action movie plotlines, after all the car chases, explosions and reversals, the eventual nominee is clear: Rick Santorum. He’s been a bit player who has never had a big scene and, by all conventions of the genre, has to be revealed as the powerful genius who has been pulling all the strings.
If that doesn’t play well at future GOP screenings, they can always go for a vampire-flick resolution—-reviving the dead—-by bringing back Herman Cain or Jon Huntsman Jr.
And if desperation sets in, does anyone know if Liam Neeson is a registered Republican ?
Update: Romney tells New York Times editors that Gingrich is “zany.” As always, he is a master of understatement.
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