GOP Convention Weather Report

Where the Missouri mule leaves off, the Republican platform committee takes up the fight against America’s most pressing problem.

In language that would not dismay Todd Akin, GOP sages call for a constitutional amendment outlawing abortion with no exceptions for rape or incest.

“Faithful to the ‘self-evident’ truths enshrined in the Declaration of Independence, we assert the sanctity of human life and affirm that the unborn child has a fundamental individual right to life which cannot be infringed. We support a human life amendment to the Constitution and endorse legislation to make clear that the Fourteenth Amendment’s protections apply to unborn children.”

The only threat to Republican unanimity may come from a Higher Power as the Weather Service reports a tropical storm that could become a hurricane by Thursday, reach Cuba Sunday and affect the Tampa conclave by opening day on Monday.

The storm, suitably enough, would be named Isaac, a biblical figure associated with human sacrifice.