GOP Loopy Latino Lovers

Republicans wooing Hispanics are looking like stiff old men on “Dancing with the Stars,” awkward, embarrassing and tripping themselves into unnatural postures to scale up border walls and land on pathways to citizenship.

Mitt Romney’s thumping among minorities last year persuaded GOP naysayers that 2016 would be about “complexions and elections,” but the stretch from who-the-hell-are-these-people to benvenidos-hermanos is proving to be as long as 700 miles of fence with 19,000 more border cops abetted by drones to tons of paperwork for getting on the back of the line, paying a fine and earning citizenship.

Leading the charge for all these charges is the Republican Great Brown Hope Marco Rubio, abetted by a couple of Senate compadres from North Dakota and Tennessee, John Hoeven and Bob Corker, with few Latino constituents but a strong itch to get on the national stage.

Never mind that their border security will cost $30 billion dollars at a time when roads and bridges are crumbling everywhere else, but it will help Tea Party patriots sleep better with a promise to be 90 percent effective in stopping illegals, a figure Democrats call a pipedream.

In his Weekly Address, the President admits "the bill isn’t perfect.  It’s a compromise.  Nobody is going to get everything they want – not Democrats, not Republicans, not me.  But it’s consistent with the principles that I and others have laid out for commonsense reform.  That’s why Republicans and Democrats, CEOs and labor leaders, are saying that now is the time to pass this bill.  If you agree with us, reach out to your Senators and Representatives.  Tell them that the time for excuses is over; it’s time to fix our broken immigration system once and for all."

Those of us who know first-hand the struggles and privations that European immigrant parents had to overcome to achieve the American Dream for their children have heartfelt compassion for these new generations striving to climb into the Great Melting Pot.

The obstacles back then were many, but they never included two-faced politicians reaching out a helping hand with hidden zappers.