"Dumbest Guy on the Planet" Explains It All

At a Neo-Con reunion last night, Don Rumsfeld's Three Stooges, who planned the war in Iraq, got together to blame the mess there on somebody else, L. Paul Bremer, who ran the occupation for the first two years.

Former Undersecretary of Defense Douglas Feith told the faithful at the American Enterprise Institute that his plan was not "to be around for many, many months" but that Bremer overruled him, thereby putting the US in today's stalemate.

Feith, labeled by Gen. Tommy Franks as "the dumbest effing guy on the planet," was introduced by former colleague Richard Perle while Paul Wolfowitz, the former World Bank lover, sat up front and agreed that Feith was "pretty much on the mark."

After hearing about the talk, Bremer told a reporter that Feith's "argument isn't with me," that President Bush told him before leaving for Baghdad to "take our time setting up an interim administration."

In reviewing George Tenet's memoir for the Wall Street Journal, Feith accused the former CIA Director of making up stories about how we got into Iraq. With his own book due for publication is March, Feith is getting a head start on fabricating his own.

Bush on Mt. Rushmore

The George W. Bush Afterlife Society will please come to order. First, the invocation from Rabbi Joe Lieberman:

“(H)e will be judged as a president who saw the threat, and in the midst of an unpopular war, he stuck with it...his ratings among the historians will be greater than his ratings in the polls today.”

The Reverend Rush Limbaugh rises to expand on this theme in today’s sermon:

“Long after we’re all dead and gone, when historians who are not yet born begin to write about this era, they’re going to place George Bush in the upper echelon of presidents who had a great vision for America.”

And then the featured speaker, the theologian and scholar at the American Enterprise Institute Michael Novak, who had a few words to say about the honoree:

"Faith is not enough by itself because there are a lot of people who have faith but weak hearts. But his faith is very strong. He seeks guidance, like every other president does, in prayer. And that means trying to be sure he's doing the right thing. And if you've got that set, all the criticism, it doesn't faze you very much. You're answering to God."

Amen. At this point, members will pray for the historians who answered a survey of the History News Network--338 heretics said they believed President Bush is failing, while 77 said he is succeeding. Fifty heathen thought he was the worst president ever, worse than Buchanan. We will pray for enlightment for these lost souls.

The final item on the agenda this evening will be a report from the Committee to Raise Funds for the George W. Bush Sculpture on Mt. Rushmore

Failing Upward, Going In

Two days after cleaning out his desk at the World Bank after resigning in disgrace, Paul Wolfowitz has a new job advising the American Enterprise Institute on "entrepreneurship and development issues, Africa and public-private partnerships."

The good news is tempered by word that Wolfowitz's colleague in getting us into Iraq will have to start serving his 30-month term as soon as the U.S. Bureau of Prisons tells him where and when.

Life just isn't fair.