And the Horse You Rode In On

Pornographer Larry Flynt, who has always been unhappy about having a 21-foot six-ton bronze statue of John Wayne on horseback in front of his office building, may finally see the fabled cowboy star ride off into the sunset.

Plans are afoot to move the American icon from Los Angeles down to Newport Beach in Orange County, where Wayne lived until his death in 1979 and a nearby airport is named for him.

Talk about odd couples. Wayne turned down a part in Mel Brooks' Western spoof "Blazing Saddles" because it was "too dirty" and refused to play "Dirty Harry" as unsuitable to his image. Flynt, the publisher of Hustler and exposer of the D.C. Madam's client list, inherited the statue in 1994 when he bought the building previously owned by a bank for whom Wayne had done TV commercials.

Now Flynt is musing over replacing Wayne with a work of art more suitable to his "adult entertainment" empire, perhaps a 50-foot phallus, but the Beverly Hills Fine Arts Commission might have something to say about that.

"Thelma and Louise" and Hillary

Two Congresswomen, Sen. Susan Collins and Rep. Jane Harman, hosted a bipartisan screening of “Thelma and Louise” this week, but Hillary Clinton was too busy running for president to attend.

The movie is a Feminist antique from 1991, but the Congresswomen seem to feel the subject of women fighting back still has relevance in the era when we have learned to say “Madam Speaker” and are rehearsing “Madam President” but there are still headlines about the “D. C. Madam.”

Collins is a Republican whose re-election next year is endangered by the recklessness of her man, George Bush. Harman, who was passed over for chairmanship of the House Intelligence Committee, has let it be known there is still prejudice against women “who talk tough and smart on security issues.”

Collins and Harman may be sending the message that, unlike the movie heroines, they are not planning to go off the cliff in a Thunderbird.

On her New York Times blog, Judith Warner argued that “Thelma and Louise” was primarily about sexual violence, not sexual politics, and is “like a relic from the past, a buried memory...dark...disturbing.”

But is it? The Republicans running against Hillary Clinton keep flaunting testosterone for NASCAR voters and their ladies. If they hold any screenings of “Thelma and Louise,” it will be billed as a comedy.

Whither Vitter: Sex, Lies and Polygraphs

In questioning Gen. Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker today, Sen. David Vitter cited “ups and downs” in Iraq. Before the day was out, Vitter was on his own roller coaster and, after escaping his D.C. Madam crisis, the Senator may be heading for Larry Craigland this time.

Public-spirited Larry Flynt, publisher of Hustler, paid for a lie detector test for Wendy Cortez, a former prostitute in New Orleans who claimed that she had a "sexual relationship" with Vitter through an escort service three times a week over at least four months.

She passed the test and, as the story breaks today, Vitter will have to deal not only with additional sexual peccadilloes but lying about them in public. He has repeatedly denied Ms. Cortez’ story but, if further evidence supports her claim, there will be some serious explaining to do.

After the Craig to-do, Republicans will be under pressure to show they are not homophobic. Ethics committee, anyone?

The Hotness of Nancy Pelosi

Now that the D.C. Madam’s phone list has lost its charms for everyone except Larry Flynt and his moles, Washington’s libido has taken a turn toward the wholesome.

Today the political trade journal, The Hill, unveiled its choices for “the 50 most beautiful people on Capitol Hill.” Mirroring the power structure, as everything in Washington does, the top ten consists of six Democrats and four Republicans, three men and seven women, most of them in their twenties and thirties, except for No. 4, Nancy Pelosi.

The Hill admits “It is rather uncomfortable calling the 67-year-old House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), mother of five and grandmother of six, ‘hot’ but cites in defense that “There is a Facebook.com group called ‘I can’t say why, but I kinda think Nancy Pelosi is cute.’”

“With more beautiful people nominees than ever before,” the editors confide, “making choices was a wrenching and angst-filled process.” No word about how much lobbying was involved.

John Kerry, Stand-Up

He’s at it again. The 2004 Democratic nominee who took himself out of a possible ’08 re-run with a badly told joke is back going for the funny again. The reviews suggest he shouldn’t give up his day job.

At a Democratic fundraiser last week, Kerry had a limerick about his Senate colleague who got into trouble by being on the D.C. Madam’s phone list:

“There once was a man named Vitter/Who vowed that he wasn’t a quitter/But with stories of women/And all of his sinnin’/He knows his career’s in the — oh, never mind.”

Jon Stewart and Bill Maher are safe, but John Kerry shouldn’t despair. It won’t get any laughs but he is doing good work by joining Hillary Clinton in introducing a bill
requiring the Pentagon to brief Congress on contingency plans for withdrawing from Iraq.

There’s more than one way of being a stand-up guy.

Uh-Oh

All japing about the D. C. Madam must cease. Possibly dire consequences may arise from her disclosures.

Last night Sen. David Vitter, whose phone number was on her list, admitted “a very serious sin in my past.”

Today there is word of Mrs. Vitter’s response, when during the Clinton impeachment, she was asked if her husband were as unfaithful as Bill Clinton, would she be as forgiving as Hillary Clinton?

“I’m a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary,” Mrs. Vitter answered. “If he does something like that, I’m walking away with one thing, and it’s not alimony, trust me.”

“I think fear is a very good motivating factor in a marriage,” she added. “Don’t put fear down.”