"Die Hard" Starring Larry Craig

Now that he is represented by Michael Vick’s lawyer, Sen. Craig may not be going to the dogs after all. Spurred on by Arlen Specter’s unsolicited legal advice, the Idaho Republican is now prepared to embarrass both parties by putting himself, and the rest of us, through a Senate Ethics Committee hearing to determine if his men’s room behavior was inappropriate.

If this comes to pass, the sessions should be held in secret, not on the grounds of national security, but to save whatever shreds of national sanity remain.

The Multi-Millionaire Dog

To offset news of football star Michael Vick’s canine inhumanity, there is word that recently deceased Leona Helmsley has left a $12 million trust to care for her 8-year-old white Maltese, Trouble and $3 million more to ensure that the dog is buried beside her and her husband, Harry, in a luxury mausoleum.

Between these polar extremes of animal cruelty and kindness, an organization, 2nd Chance for Pets, is encouraging owners to make provisions in their wills to avoid having their dogs join the estimated 300,000 or more animals that are euthanized after the deaths of their owners.

That’s a problem Trouble will never have to face.