Over to You, Vladimir

Being Time's Person of the Year is no barrel of laughs, it comes with a lot of headaches.

For the whole year, last year's mylar cover has been sitting next to the computer screen as a taunt to Time's designation of me "for seizing the reins of the global media, for founding and framing the new digital democracy, for working for nothing and beating the pros at their own game."

That's the kind of pressure you're facing, comrade, as the newsweekly praises your accomplishments, salutes your longevity and calls you an "elected emperor" who will be the "longest-serving statesman among the great powers, long after such leaders as Bush and Tony Blair have faded from the scene."

For a guy who has never sent an e-mail in his life and whose father was Stalin's cook, you've done very well, but believe you me, that kind of talk can unnerve anybody, even someone with your Tsar's stare. If you look back at some of the other cover people, remember what happened to Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Newt Gingrich. It's not exactly the Sports Illustrated cover jinx, but...

Now the crown is yours. Serving the Time correspondent a "dinner of lobster-and-shiitake-mushroom salad, 'crab fingers with hot sauce' and impressive vintages of Puligny-Montrachet and a Chilean Cabernet" was a good start.

Last year's winners salute you as they go back to their keyboards, stuffed with fast food, relaxed and ready to face a new year of solving the world's problems without all that pressure.

Candidates Fight Electorate Ennui

Most Americans say the ’08 Presidential campaign so far has been annoying and a waste of time. One survey finds 56 percent of likely voters feel that way while only 29 percent call the debates and other stuff interesting and informative.

We may be in a forest-and-trees situation here. Certainly the prospect of all these months, with more to come, of posturing, ploys, spats and gotchas has been depressing, but nonetheless, voters are beginning to get some sense of who the candidates are or say they are.

Not surprisingly, the front runners have defined themselves most sharply. Hillary Clinton offers pre-Bush integrity, competence and caring with the added benefit of moving us beyond gender stereotypes. Rudy Giuliani will keep us safe, safe, safe by being “one of the four or five best known Americans in the world," thereby discouraging terrorists from messing with us. Didn’t he face them down all by himself on 9/11?

The runners-up are still in the conceptual stage. Obama is the picture of freshness and youthful idealism while Fred Thompson is a slow-developing snapshot of old-fashioned by-gosh conservative ideals, but neither is in sharp focus yet.

After the win and place spots, the show candidates are photogenic, but Mitt Romney keeps weaving out of the frame while John Edwards’ grim sincerity seems frozen in place.

Back there in the crowd scene, none of the bit players are coming forward, with the possible exception of Mike Huckabee, but he seems to be auditioning for second billing.

Comic relief, in the form of Alan Keyes and maybe even Newt Gingrich may be on the way, but meanwhile, the process is all we have and, fairly soon, like it or not, we’re going to have start paying closer attention.