Hugh Grant's "Pretty Woman"

In the Cinderella ending of the most romantic hooker movie ever made, Richard Gere climbs a fire escape ladder to save Julia Roberts from The Life.

Now we have a real-life counterpart, sort of, in the story of Divine Brown, who has gone on to fame and fortune after an encounter with Hugh Grant twelve years ago.

The transaction went public after police officers noticed the brake lights of the actor’s BMW convertible flashing on and off as he was being orally stimulated by Ms. Brown, leading to headlines over their arrest for lewd behavior.

Her 15 minutes of fame, thanks to the debonair British movie star, took Ms. Brown from a shabby Oakland apartment to what the Daily Mail describes as a four-bedroom home near Beverly Hills, driving a Mercedes Benz and wearing a mink coat, diamond earrings, and more diamonds around her neck, ankles and feet. She has put two daughters through private school and is still making lucrative appearances on TV shows and in commercials.

Mr. Grant, however, was led away in handicuffs, fined $800, sentenced to attend an AIDS awareness program, lost his girl friend, Elizabeth Hurley, and had to go on the “Tonight” show to make a contrite confession to Jay Leno.

While it isn’t quite “Pretty Woman” or “Love, Actually,” it certainly is a 21st century reversal of the old axiom, “It’s always the woman who pays.”

Love, Actually

Anglophilia is hard to resist. Like a Hugh Grant-Richard Curtis movie, the British just can’t help charming us.

After politely following our lead into Iraq, they are now getting out in their understated way by quietly withdrawing their troops and disposing of Tony Blair.

Less stodgily, they are stoking nostalgia this weekend by re-creating Woodstock--music, mud and all. In Glastonbury, 175,000 of their young are sloshing around in what, for most of us, evokes memories of a happier time:

"Many party-goers had been up all night at the silent disco, where revellers plug into personal stereos to listen to dance tunes. The aim is to dance the night away in silence...

"Another big attraction overnight was at the King's Meadow where Banksy, an anonymous graffiti sensation who has rocked the art world, had erected a mock version of the Stonehenge prehistoric site out of graffiti-strewn mobile toilets."

More than two centuries after the unpleasantness between us, the British are still colonizing our spirit. When that boob George Bush is gone, come back, Your Majesty, and bring along the young princes. We’ll have a ball. A dignified one, of course.