Horny Billionaire

New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg once described being a single, straight billionaire in Manhattan as a “wet dream.” Now he may be having nocturnal emissions about moving to Washington.

While feigning disinterest, Bloomberg is nonetheless out there talking like a Presidential coach if not a candidate, most recently on “Good Morning America” rebuking current contenders for pandering to the public and not confronting what he believes are the big issues: public education, guns and crime.

"Nobody's willing to...say explicitly, 'This is what I believe. This is how I would improve education, for example,'" he said.

He may not go for a four-year lease on the White House, but he certainly sounds like a man hoping for some sleepovers there.

The gossip on Mayor Mike’s pre-City Hall years is that he would ogle an attractive woman and say, “I’d like to do her.” If he goes for the Presidency with his billions, Americans will have to make sure he is not trying to “do” us all.

West Coast Social Note

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, a Democrat supporting Hillary Clinton for ’08, is taking some heat off the Republican front runners.

Voters are being distracted from questions like the hotness of Fred Thompson’s wife and the serial marriages of Rudy Giuliani by the L.A. soap opera of the Mayor divorcing his wife and admitting to an affair with Telemundo reporter Mirthala Salinas.

"I don't believe that the details of my personal life are relevant to my job,” the Mayor said at a recent press conference. If he really meant that, he is not living in today’s LaLaland but in some Hollywood costume drama of the past century.

No word of Sen. Clinton’s reaction, but the news may be creating flashbacks for her.

Meanwhile, HBO should have Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones standing by for “Villaraigosa, the Movie.”