Why Didn't Larry Craig Think of That?

In the old I-was-doing-it-as-research ploy, a Vatican official caught soliticing gay sex claims that he only pretended to be gay in order to gather information about "those who damage the image of the Church with homosexual activity."

Nonetheless, Monsignor Tommaso Stenico was suspended after being filmed making advances to a young man and asserting that gay sex was not sinful on a television program.

The Monsignor insists he is heterosexual but remained faithful to his vow of celibacy and expects to be fully exonerated after a review.

Back here, his counterpart, Sen. Larry Craig is fighting on as well. In an interview with NBC’s Matt Lauer, he says he will seek vindication from the Senate Ethics Committee and is particularly rueful about being fired as Senate chairman of Mitt Romney’s Presidential campaign.

"I was very proud of my association with Mitt Romney," Craig told Lauer. "... And he not only threw me under his campaign bus, he backed up and ran over me again."

Nothing, however, about vows of celibacy.

Pope, Bush Bond

Despite stiff-necked media harrumphing about the President at the Vatican this weekend, it can reliably be reported that His Holiness, Benedict XVI, was totally taken with Bush’s warmth and informality.

Far from being offended at being called “sir,” the Pope was charmed by reminders of his days as a college professor when German frat boys nicknamed him “Ratzy.”

Vatican bureaucrats anonymously quoted about the President’s “invincible ignorance” were not within earshot when His Holiness responded jocularly, “Call me Ben or XVI, and I’ll call you W or II.”

The President promised the Pope to bring Vladimir along on his next visit so the three of them could share some laughs over non-alcoholic brewski.