Bush's Final Bow

As the only president eligible for the Witness Protection Program, George W. Bush will start practicing his post-White House demeanor with a stealth appearance at the Republican Convention in September.

"Convention planners, the White House and the McCain campaign," the New York Times reports, "are wrestling with how to choreograph a proper send-off for Mr. Bush...while hustling him out the door in time for Mr. McCain to look like his own man."

As of now, the plan calls for a quick cameo on opening night, followed by a round of forced cheers and, in the immortal words of the Terminator turned governor, "Hasta la vista, baby."

But some Republicans think even this is too much. One California Congressman, Dana Rohrabacher, says, "I don’t think there are a lot of people who want to see him at the convention,” and suggests the Commander-in-Chief “should stay home from the Republican convention, and everybody would be better off.”

John McCain certainly might be. Someone of his age is at serious risk of physical injury from having to elude Bush's embrace while keeping a frozen smile on his face.