Thursday, July 26, 2007

Alberto Gonzales' Nose

Specialists at Walter Reed Medical Center have been treating the Attorney General, between rounds of Congressional testimony, for an advanced case of Pinocchio Syndrome, it was learned today.

Thus far, non-invasive therapy has controlled the symptoms, but Mr. Gonzales’ condition may require more aggressive measures for the tension produced by relentless questioning.

Meanwhile, at the White House, a spokesperson confirmed the President’s deep concern over the suffering of his long-time friend, especially after learning the Attorney General’s therapy may produce such side effects as the recall of suppressed traumatic memories and uncontrollable logorrhea.

Thus far, doctors have reassured the President that continuing as Attorney General is the best tonic for Mr. Gonzales’ future well-being.

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