Friday, March 30, 2007

Bushies Who Can't Shoot Straight

What they had in mind apparently was “The Godfather,” but more and more it’s turning out to be “The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight,” a Mafia comedy that preceded it.

As bad as Alberto Gonzales has been in overplaying the bumbler Fredo, yesterday we had Kyle Sampson as an inept Luca Brasi getting repeatedly nailed by questioning Senators. If and when they hear from Karl Rove, Bush’s Sonny Corleone, and Harriet Miers, his underperforming consigliere, the parody may only get worse.

The code of silence has morphed into “Who, me?” In “The Gang That...,” Jimmy Breslin milked the Mafia for laughs, having a midget run the Boss’ pet lion through a car wash, but this bunch is having even more trouble coming clean.

Breslin’s contempt for mobsters was exceeded only by his distaste for politicians. As a New Journalism lark in 1969, he ran for President of the New York City Council and got 75,000 votes. In his concession speech, he announced, “I am mortified to have taken part in a process that requires the bars to be closed.”

If he were covering Washington today, what would Breslin make of Democrats as the Tattaglias stopping to pilfer fruit in their budget shootout with the Godfather?

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