The Codger Candidates

In the ’08 Presidential soap opera, casting for the supporting roles is coming along nicely.

The Democrats found their comic relief in Mike Gravel, who turned 77 yesterday, during their first TV debate when he looked at the lineup and said, “And I gotta tell ya, after standing up with them, some of these people frighten me!"

Making a strong bid to be the Republican geezer, although a little under-aged at 65, is former Bush Cabinet member Tommy Thompson. Last month, he remarked to a Jewish audience that making money is "part of the Jewish tradition" and later apologized, blaming fatigue and a persistent cold.

That was only rehearsal for the Republican debate. Responding to a question about firing gay employees, he said, "I think that is left up to the individual business. I really sincerely believe that that is an issue that business people have got to make their own determination...”

The next day, Thompson explained that his hearing-aid battery had gone dead. Later, he amended the excuse by adding that he had the flu and was distracted by an urgent need “to go to the bathroom.”

Thompson’s inappropriate blathering, deafness and incontinence certainly qualify him to be the Republican Gabby Hayes. For the next debate, he might consider wearing Depends.

Now who can they get to play the leading man?