News From the Alternate Universe

At the gates of the Republican debate last night, there is a heavenly choir to greet the messengers at the podium, who proceed to bring down the wrath of Reagan on the congregation.

Fred Thompson calls out Mike Huckabee as an apostate Democrat who would mislead true believers into charity for undocumented immigrants, closing Guantanamo and making smoking illegal.

Mitt Romney chides John McCain for saying some jobs would not be coming back to Michigan, the equivalent of swearing in Republican church.

Rudy Giuliani seems to be undergoing yet another sinner's conversion, intoning Reagan more often than 9/11 and disputing McCain's claim to be the only one on the stage who foresaw the glory of the Surge.

They all roll their eyes at Ron Paul, the village zealot who preaches economic doom if we keep giving alms to Israel and the Arabs instead of cultivating our own gardens.

It's a Reagan revival meeting and, although there are no miraculous cures for the politically lame and blind, the tent is filled with holy fervor from the converted, who are soliciting love offerings at the ballot box to keep Democrats from doing the Devil's work in South Carolina.

Deadly Politics in Iowa and New Hampshire

In today's world, very little can be called "unseemly," but the candidates' reaction to the death of Benazir Bhutto might give pause to even the most jaded observer.

It's hard to tell tone from news reports, but the responses of Obama and Clinton seem unfeeling at best, while Giuliani's New Hampshire co-chairman is right there to 9/11 her death with the claim that only his man has "the knowledge and judgment to attack one of the most difficult problems in current history. And that is the rise of the Muslims...(W)e need to keep the feet to the fire and keep pressing these people until we defeat them or chase them back to their caves, or in other words, get rid of them."

Par for the Giuliani course, but the Washington Post headline reflects no credit on the Democrats: "Clinton, Obama Seize on Killing."

Politics ain't beanbag, but neither is it prissy to be repulsed by the rush to tie an assassination to experience and womanhood on the one hand, and an opponent's vote to go to war in Iraq on the other. Even George Bush had the restraint to limit his first reaction to shock and a determination to track down the people behind the killer.

"While aides said Clinton was anxious not to appear to be politicizing Bhutto's death," the Post reports, "they nonetheless saw it as a potential turning point in the race with Obama and former senator John Edwards."

Edwards meanwhile was touting his phone call to Pakistan President Perez Musharraf, urging him "to continue on the path to democratization."

What to do about Pakistan is going to be high on the next President's agenda, but a little mourning might be in order before seizing on a violent death to turn the issue to political profit in Iowa.

None of the Above

After the longest shopping season in history, Americans are not ready to buy. The oscillating poll numbers seem to reflect not changing enthusiasms but unease over their choices in both parties.

As Clinton and Giuliani slide, Obama and Huckabee gain traction, Edwards and McCain come back from oblivion, and Mitt Romney keeps barely running in place, voters are vacillating in the face of campaigns that stress opponents' weaknesses and gaffes rather than their own visions for the future.

It's noteworthy that the front runners are being overtaken by doubts about their character and temperament and that Obama and Huckabee have both benefited by being newer faces in their fields.

As residents of Iowa and New Hampshire get ready to make their choices, the most excitement is being generated by "none of the above."