Barack and the Beanstalk

The fable of the giant-killer was alive and well in South Carolina--a young man climbing into the castle of a behemoth called Blunderbore and his wife and stealing their prizes.

Barack Obama summed it up in his victory speech: "After four great contests in every corner of this country, we have the most votes, the most delegates and the most diverse coalition of Americans that we've seen in a long, long time."

The Clintons are still huge as they lumber toward Super Tuesday, but Obama has lost narrowly in New Hampshire and Nevada, won handily in Iowa and now by a country mile in South Carolina. His beanstalk is looking sturdier with each contest.

After all the blather about race and gender, it was Bill Clinton shadowing the landscape that made the difference between what might have been a close contest and a runaway. The voters were not charmed by his "Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum! I smell the blood of a journeyman!"

In the exit polls, South Carolina voters clearly said they were turned off by the sight and, from here on, to push the fairy tale to its limit, the Clintons will have to find another goose to lay their golden eggs.

News From the Alternate Universe

At the gates of the Republican debate last night, there is a heavenly choir to greet the messengers at the podium, who proceed to bring down the wrath of Reagan on the congregation.

Fred Thompson calls out Mike Huckabee as an apostate Democrat who would mislead true believers into charity for undocumented immigrants, closing Guantanamo and making smoking illegal.

Mitt Romney chides John McCain for saying some jobs would not be coming back to Michigan, the equivalent of swearing in Republican church.

Rudy Giuliani seems to be undergoing yet another sinner's conversion, intoning Reagan more often than 9/11 and disputing McCain's claim to be the only one on the stage who foresaw the glory of the Surge.

They all roll their eyes at Ron Paul, the village zealot who preaches economic doom if we keep giving alms to Israel and the Arabs instead of cultivating our own gardens.

It's a Reagan revival meeting and, although there are no miraculous cures for the politically lame and blind, the tent is filled with holy fervor from the converted, who are soliciting love offerings at the ballot box to keep Democrats from doing the Devil's work in South Carolina.

Obama: Buyer's Remorse

Yet another theory to explain the inexplicable results of the Democratic New Hampshire primary:

Caught up in post-Iowa euphoria, normally prudent New Englanders suffered an attack of buyer's remorse on Election Day--anxiety over their decision to make a big investment based on emotion rather than history and horse sense.

Purchasing a sleek new Obama would make them feel good about themselves, but did they know enough about performance and durability to justify what might turn out to be an extravagance? Wouldn't a familiar Clinton model be a safer investment?

In our new Age of Anxiety, much as voters now want change from Bush fatigue, a heartfelt political commitment would bring with it doubts and worries. In the coming months, such ambivalence may be reflected in more mood swings at the ballot box.

In South Carolina, for example, buyer's remorse could follow the Republicans' sudden infatuation with Mike Huckabee and persuade them to pick up a reliable old John McCain, even if they are not entranced by all the familiar features.

Then again, maybe not.

Too Principled to Be President?

John McCain is the Anti-Giuliani of the Republican field. He doesn't equivocate, exaggerate or evade, qualities that might make a good President but a terrible candidate, particularly in a party whose leaders haven't told the truth since Bob Dole.

Now McCain is speaking out against soft-money ads in South Carolina ostensibly pushing for passage of Wounded Warriors legislation to improve veterans' health care, which has widespread bipartisan support, but are really a back-door pitch for his candidacy, among others.

The Senator who championed the McCain-Feingold bill to reform campaign finance is having none of it. “I have condemned those ads,” he said on Fox News yesterday.

His opponents insist McCain is demurring with a wink and a nod, but that has never been his style. If anything, he has hurt himself with an abundance of bluntness.

As a result of a recent Supreme Court decision, soft-money groups will be operating in this election with even less disclosure than in 2004, the glory days of the Swift Boat ads, which McCain criticized back then.

Both parties are gearing up for record amounts of this kind of public deception, a way for candidates to save their halos and their money by letting anonymous backers spend unlimited money to lie for them.

It may be a little complicated for sound bites but the candidates of both parties should be pressed about their positions on all this in the upcoming debates.