Friday, January 11, 2008

News From the Alternate Universe

At the gates of the Republican debate last night, there is a heavenly choir to greet the messengers at the podium, who proceed to bring down the wrath of Reagan on the congregation.

Fred Thompson calls out Mike Huckabee as an apostate Democrat who would mislead true believers into charity for undocumented immigrants, closing Guantanamo and making smoking illegal.

Mitt Romney chides John McCain for saying some jobs would not be coming back to Michigan, the equivalent of swearing in Republican church.

Rudy Giuliani seems to be undergoing yet another sinner's conversion, intoning Reagan more often than 9/11 and disputing McCain's claim to be the only one on the stage who foresaw the glory of the Surge.

They all roll their eyes at Ron Paul, the village zealot who preaches economic doom if we keep giving alms to Israel and the Arabs instead of cultivating our own gardens.

It's a Reagan revival meeting and, although there are no miraculous cures for the politically lame and blind, the tent is filled with holy fervor from the converted, who are soliciting love offerings at the ballot box to keep Democrats from doing the Devil's work in South Carolina.

No comments: