Saturday, May 19, 2007

Michael Moore Resists Bush Shock and Awe

He is feeling so invaded. Like Iraq. Fearing WMD in the guerilla fighter’s latest foray into the heart of American darkness, the Bush Administration launched a “preemptive action” that has Moore shaken but resolved to resist.

From an undisclosed location, the intrepid filmmaker has issued a communiqué to reassure members of the Resistance that he will not be silenced and is, as we speak, “on my way to Cannes right now, a copy of the movie in my bag."

He is flying there despite the efforts of Bush’s Major Strasser, Fred Thompson, to neutralize him with a scurrilous video impugning his soundness of mind.

Moore’s furtive missive lifts the veil on his unspeakable treatment at the hands of the Bushies.

"Are you saying they might actually confiscate our movie?" he asked his legal aides.

"’Yes,’ was the answer. ‘These days, anything is possible. Even if there is just a 20 percent chance the government would seize our movie before Cannes, does anyone want to take that risk?’

“Certainly not. So there we were last week, spiriting a duplicate master negative out of the country just so no one from the government would take it from us.”

Well done, Commando Moore. If you pass through Lisbon, give our best to Ingrid Bergman and Paul Henreid.

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